im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
