That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize