Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
this is an emotional support booty call
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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