cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize