i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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