hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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