Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
