So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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