about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
