I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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