I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
