This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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