Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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