I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
