PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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