Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
