If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
