I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
