I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
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