I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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