im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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