drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
