is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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