I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize