We're like a lot better than the average bears
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
