every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
