i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize