my soul wont recognize me after tonight
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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