Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
