Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
