I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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