Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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