Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize