woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
