how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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