You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Randomize