I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
