I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
