And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
two words...techno handjob
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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