Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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