so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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