i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
