4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize