it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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