How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
