I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
