So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
