can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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