considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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