You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I love having hate sex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
