Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
