roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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