white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
