If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
