So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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