One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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