ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
it's great music for shaving your balls
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
