i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
